The Atomic Power of Expression

Last night I read through my 14 year old daughter's Facebook account.

I admit, in this short sentence, to two things which you might have a opinion about.

First -  that I spy on my kids. It is true. Especially when it comes to the Internet. Do I trust them? The answer is a qualified yes, I do. But the Internet is a very powerful tool. Much like a table saw or a rifle, I would generally trust them to use it wisely and safely. But at least while they are young teens, I'll be looking over their shoulder. Or in the case of Facebook, I simply have access to their account.

Second - that I'm OK with them having a Facebook account at all. The reality is that we are not an Amish family. We have tv's, computers, cell-phones. The parents out there who live in this digital world without allowing their kids access to Facebook or Internet are, in my mind, extraordinary. Facebook is so easy to sign up for and maintain that if a parent tells me his teenager is not allowed to social network, I can't help but think, is he not allowed to swear either? Better to allow it, discuss it and monitor it than pretend it does not exist.

So what did I find on Facebook last night? Something interesting enough to discuss over the Internet, of course.

On one of her friends pages, there were comments from a high school student (a sophomore) on the presidential debate that he apparently wrote as it was ongoing. Here is a sample of that young person's  comments:

It seems that Romney's strategy is to pull random hypothetical tax plans out of his a** and eventually stick with the one that gets the most generally positive response

Mitt Romney just accused Obama of investing in Chinese labor and having accounts in the Cayman Islands... My brain hurts

The postings struck me in a number of ways. First that the 15 year old would be so engaged in the electoral process. I've always liked politics. Majored in in in college. But I don't remember at all having that strong an opinion of Ford vs. Carter when I was in high school.  (Friends from that era - please correct me if I am wrong). And if I did, I certainly don't recall shouting those views from the rooftops, which is effectively what an Internet rant is, without having to climb the stairs.

Is this just a new and very passionate generation 'roided up with keyboards and broadband? The young people who were raised with access to social media from grade school are now moving quickly toward adulthood. They've spent a few years now expressing thoughts and ideas that are not too much different than any other generation. But the voices are louder than they ever were in the past. So loud, in fact that they are talking over and past each other in a blizzard of texts, IM's, postings, shout-outs, blogs, comments, rants, raves, likes, dislikes and updates. Hardly any edits. Very few pauses before hitting ENTER to hundreds of people, and no instant consequences for saying anything in the world from brainless to genius.

That is, until some interested party, days, months or years later sees what was launched on an unguided rocket into cyberspace. It could be simply a friend who does not get the intended sarcasm or irony in a comment. Or an opinion / thought that seems perfectly rational and appropriate in the moment, but later causes the sender nothing but regret. Either because it wasn't true or should not have been expressed.

Relationships are now ruined in a new way. Add the misunderstood or ill-timed Facebook post to the long list of ways we can fracture socially. Take the bad with the good, I guess, because there is no doubt that social media can strengthen the bonds between individuals and groups. I'm on my way to a college reunion right now, made much easier by the communicative power of Facebook.

But back to the 15 year old. Not long ago, someone that age was much more interested in Superman vs. Lex Luthor, or even Ali vs. Frazier. Now he's channeling Bill Maher, or James Carville  in the epic battle vs. Sean Hannity to save the planet. The young man is a great shortstop, and high school musician with good grades. Now he seems to be auditioning for an afternoon slot on MSNBC.

So what does a parent do when the Internet and cable tv ranting makes one a little queasy? Of course, I write about in on the web log. Then  I talk to my own teenagers.

First about how that stuff in cyberspace is there forever. FOREVER. Second, if you write it, step away for a while before you launch it.  You'll be surprised how much ends up in the trash after just a few hours. Last, if you want to discuss politics or religion, your first impulse should be not to. Especially if you don't know them very well. Then if you must, assume the other person completely disagrees with you on every point and you have no absolute right to change his or her mind.

I'm actually somewhat optimistic on the subject of both social media and the angry birds of cable TV as a threat to civil debate. Harnessing the power of radioactivity gave us the atomic bomb and won us World War 2 in the Pacific. Then came some pretty stupid uses for it like x-raying feet to measure a shoe-size.

We will eventually get it under control and I'm hopeful that the cyber-yelling will go out of fashion. We will always have to live with the dark side of  any technology. It might just take a generation or two to learn how to best handle the power of expression across the Internet.