Happy 82nd, Dad

Happy Birthday to my Dad!!!

His family and friends probably already know this, but my father loves a good blonde joke. Here goes:

Ted Baze once walked into an Austin Texas drinking establishment. He spotted a blonde sitting at the bar and started a conversation: "Hey, do you want to hear the best blonde joke ever?" he said.

The girl looked at him and replied, "Well, ok. But first you need to know that because I am sitting down you can't tell how tall I am. I am 6 feet 2 inches and was the kickboxing champion at my police academy class."

She then pointed to her right and said: "Do you see this blonde next to me? She is a good friend, is 6 feet 4 and is the body-building champion of North America." Pointing again she continued: "And do you see this blonde to her right? She is 6 foot 6 and is the mixed martial arts champion of the world."

My dad looked straight ahead as she continued: "So today the three of us are celebrating our graduation from the University of Texas here in Austin. We were on full-ride hair-diversity scholarships and graduated with degrees in recovering-blonde studies. Top three in our class."

The bar suddenly seemed quieter as the woman finished with this: "Now, mister. Do you still want to tell us your little blonde joke?"

My dad replied: "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times."

Happy 82nd, Dad.

Prison Bureaucracy

For those of us seeing more evidence each day that the world is wobbling a little further off it's axis, I give you the Prison Rape Elimination Act Compliance form courtesy of the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections.

My wife travels for business very often. She provides sales support for a medical device company and was recently asked to visit a Pennsylvania Prison. Signing and returning this form was a condition for her to visit. It was required by Pennsylvania DOC.

That our penal system needs medical equipment should come as no surprise. We are a humane society and I see a great value in treating inmate-patients that will move outside the gates one day to reformed and better lives. If they need an exam requiring modern equipment, count me in support.

As for prison rape, I don't have much opinion on that subject except that it adds to the list of reasons why I stay on the law abiding side of society.

Think about the irony, though, of my wife signing a form and consenting to a background check that is supposed to prevent prison rape. Not a violation of her, but rather the prisoners she may be around.

If it makes the citizenry of Pennsylvania sleep more soundly at night knowing my wife will not rape anyone in prison, then please enjoy that more peaceful rest.

As for those of us in the south and west, we mostly have a different viewpoint on that issue.

Meanwhile another business deals with another nonsensical bureaucratic requirement. And our economy continues stuck in first gear.

5 Cents a Mile

On a recent trip to Asia with my son, we traveled 19000 miles on Singapore Airlines. The airfare for each round-trip ticket was $1000 total. An incredible bargain for that distance traveled.

The math will tell you that riding in an Airbus A-380 and a Boeing 777 for 6 flights totaling all those miles in economy class worked out to slightly more than 5 cents per mile.

If I traveled in some fashion from where I am sitting in Phoenix to Los Angeles on a budget of 5 cents per mile, it would cost me about $15 total. I'm not sure how I could possibly do that other than riding a bicycle non-stop, finding water along the way, barely eating, and skipping any sort of lodging - even Airbnb.

No other form of transportation comes close to the efficiency and safety of modern air travel. Maybe the price of my ticket was subsidized by a government such as Singapore. I don't know. But I sat for a total of 42 hours in a reasonably comfortable seat, reading, watching movies, eating a decent meal every few hours and consuming a dozen or so adult beverages. I was safer riding in the plane than wading in an ocean, hiking a mountain trail, riding in an automobile or stepping through my bathroom.

The 'good old days' don't even come close to providing this level of comfort or safety for long distance travel.

5 cents a mile. Astounding.

Us

8 July - The Dallas Shootings

Thoughts on this difficult day - especially for those of us from Texas.

I am lucky to work in a job that brings me in close contact with many people on any given day. I woke up this morning in Fort Lauderdale and from the time I left my room to the time I sat down in the cockpit, I interacted with dozens, maybe a hundred people. From tipping a van driver, to buying a coffee to thanking our passengers for their business, I tried to make a lot of eye contact today.

I am not going to go all rainbow touchy-feely on this social media. I encountered a diverse crowd. Hell, we are all diverse in so many different ways - skin color being one of the most obvious.

Something I can take away from that eye and spoken contact today is that people are good. There are monsters out there, but nearly everyone is good and (though it can be a little hard to see) we usually treat each other very well.

I once saw a woman fall down in an airport terminal. Another woman, a stranger nearby - roughly the same age, very different skin color - came right to her aid. This is what any of us would expect to happen and exactly what did.

I wish our leaders would emphasize less the groups we supposedly belong to or the methods we can readily use to harm one another. Us versus them won't work. It's only Us.