I'm Fine with Just Being A Customer. No Encouragement Necessary

There must be a phrase to describe a company talking to me like a modern day mom encouraging her 9 year old.

1. Credit union acknowledges a direct deposit with: WHOO HOOO!!! Your funds are available!

2. Lyft acknowledges my tip to a driver with: FANTASTIC OUR SUPERHERO CAN NOW GET HIS CAPE DRY-CLEANED!!

Kind of weird. I've noticed since so many commercials became just plain goofy (Geico) there's been a movement in marketing to speak to customers more and more like children. As if we deserve that big hug and praise just because we ran at our soccer game.

Winston Churchill on "Experts"

Nothing would be more fatal than for the government of States to get into the hands of the experts. Expert knowledge is limited knowledge: and the unlimited ignorance of the plain man who knows only what hurts is a safer guide, than any vigorous direction of a specialised character. Why should you assume that all except doctors, engineers etc., are drones or worse? 

To manage men, to explain difficult things to simple people, to reconcile opposite interests, to weigh the evidence of disputing experts, to deal with the clamorous emergency of the hour; are not these things in themselves worth the consideration and labour of a lifetime? If the Ruler is to be an expert in anything he should be an expert in everything; and that is plainly impossible. Wherefore I say from the dominion of all specialists (particularly military specialists) good Lord deliver us.

A Tough Christmas 2022

First, to those travelers and their families / friends inconvenienced by the recent events, I am very sorry. I recognize the difficulties of not making it to a destination on time, losing track of luggage and putting up with long lines and waiting in sometimes uncomfortable conditions.

The reasons seem to generally boil down to:

    1. Very bad weather across the country.

    2. A technology system employed by the company that was unable to handle those bad weather disruptions.

I flew home yesterday from Austin to Phoenix at 7 am. We had no passengers in the cabin other than two extra pilots and one flight attendant.

Why would this happen? There were hundreds of people with tickets waiting to travel on this route for over 40 hours. Every non-stop the day prior was canceled.

It was simple: we needed two other flight attendants on board to carry a full load of passengers. The ones scheduled to work the flight never made it to Austin the night before. 143 people in seats require 3 trained flight attendants. No others were available and the decision was made to move the aircraft back to Phoenix where it could, so to speak, stay in the fight to return the airline to normal operations.

Least bad choice in the situation.

I was on my 5^th day of working what was originally a 3 day trip.

Things started to look difficult on the night of the 23rd. We were running late into Oakland. We had several passengers requesting we hold their connecting flight to Oregon. Unfortunately that flight departed before we arrived. We will often delay connecting flights but in this case I am guessing that the crew was running out of time to work. Another inflexible rule is crew rest. We are allowed to work only a certain number of hours during the day. Often a replacement crew can be assigned, but it wasn’t this time. I think the entire system was pretty well stressed at this point, 2 days before Christmas.

The next day I reported for work in the morning and waited for a while in a base lounge. There were sandwiches and donuts and Santa hats available to those of waiting out delays. No supervisors, though.

Back to the weather. It was horrendous in areas. Very cold and very windy in many states. One of my co-pilots said he saw a mechanic trying to work in those conditions the day before. Simply putting oil in an engine was very hard. He said the guy could barely get his fingers to work opening a latch.

A lot of equipment was frozen. Baggage handlers and tug drivers worked in extreme conditions. Ice slows down everything. And while we deal with this stuff every winter, the huge arctic blast of air that arrived the other day was very unusual. Not just because of the temperatures and winds but also because of the huge area it affected.

Another storm was affecting the Pacific Northwest. Freezing rain hit Seattle, Portland, and Spokane. It shut down those airports for extended times. The 737 is a fantastic machine. It handles very bad weather very well. Freezing rain is another matter. We are not allowed to takeoff or land in it when the intensity is reported greater than light. This is a rare occurrence.

More bad weather was hitting Southern California. The clouds and visibility were too low for safe landings in San Diego on the night of the 23rd. Many planes had to divert to other airports. Again, a rare occurrence in this part of the country

I can’t speak to the technology issues that let us down this time. There are some very smart people who will analyze all this going forward. I can tell you I spent about 4 hours total on phone hold with my schedulers. Changes will be made to address that.

Through all this, the passengers I saw were amazing and patient. Maybe it was the spirit of the season. I am very proud of the people who fly on us and help me earn a living doing something I love. It is a job that keeps me happy.

Except, I guess, when there’s a lot of ice, wind, storms, low clouds, sitting around airports, waiting in hotels and most heartbreaking of all: walking through the back of an empty 737 at 36,000 feet.

Christmas22

 

New Master Bath

Norway in August

Family at Lake Texoma

Mt. Baker

Ted Baze

Ted Baze 

1934-2021

My dad joined the Army three months after his 15th birthday. He had lied about his age to the recruiter and served 3 years before returning to his home in West Texas. All of his service was here in the states.

In 1955 he graduated from Lubbock High School. A classmate was Buddy Holly. Dad said they were acquaintences more than friends but Buddy (who later dropped the e from his name) signed his yearbook, calling dad a "swell guy."

My dad's great passion - after family - was television broadcasting. He worked every job from the bottom up in that business. The production booth photo could have been a professional wrestling or roller derby TV show.

When he became a manager he networked endlessly, attending conventions (meeting many celebrities), advocating for independent broadcasters and telling great stories before his colleagues.

With him through it all was my mother. And yes - any comparison to Elizabeth Taylor is appropriate.

My dad's middle age were spent raising his family and working toward his career goal: ownership of a television station.

The story is amazing and recounted  in his book: Snapshots of My Life. Too much to summarize here, it involves a famous Wall Street figure - Ivan Boesky, competing stations, other financiers, lawyers, and the government bureaucracy of the FCC. These dealings with the government would strongly shape his later views when he became a Texas city councilman.

A paragraph from his book:

One morning at home while shaving I turned to Mom and said "I've got it... I've got a plan that the bank and the film companies could not possibly turn down." It consisted of having the program suppliers give me a moratorium on the payments to them with interest accruing, while I used my cash to pay off the bank what we owe in monthly installments. I flew to Los Angeles and met with three creditors to sell them on this idea and came back with their approval each providing that they were all treated the same which they were. I also promised them that I would never take a dollar profit from the station for myself until they were completely paid.

Amazingly, along with family and this complicated business, he found time to get his private pilot's license in 1985.

Thank you for taking the time to read about my father, Ted Baze.

Here are a few more photos from his amazing life:

Link to his full obituary

Alaska to Canada to Idaho by Motorcycle 2019

The Route:

Day 1: Anchorage to Tok, AK

Day 2 to Whitehorse,YK

Day 3 to Watson Lake, YK

Day 4 to Bell 2, BC

Day 5 to Prince George, BC

Day 6 to Jasper, AB

Day 7 to Cranbrook, BC

Day 8 to Grangeville, ID

Day 9 to Boise, ID

2319 miles from Anchorage to the US border at Eastport, ID in a little under 7 days. As fast as you could comfortably travel this route, I think. No real extended sightseeing stops.

This is the same distance from Phoenix to New York City.

Continuing from the border to Boise added 500 more miles.

I chose the route based on a few factors:

1. Best scenery and motorcycle roads (curves, not much construction, light traffic).
2. Avoiding crossing back into the US south of Vancouver which would lead to heavy traffic on the Interstate around Seattle.
3. Recommendation of the Cassiar / Dease Highway 37 as a good motorcycle road. This turned out to be the case.

Choose to travel north or southbound. I chose south for a few reasons.

1. I cruised on the Alaska Highway Ferry system with the bike from Bellingham, WA to Whittier (near Anchorage) Alaska. If you ride the bike north you introduce a time pressure of getting to the ferry on schedule to depart back south. 
2. The weather in September was good but sometimes chilly with rain. I thought mentally, riding south would help keep my spirits up in the weather - thinking it would get warmer. As it turned out though, the weather and temperature stayed mostly the same until almost Boise. 

The Bike:

I rode my own 2008 BMW 1200 RT.

It had 39000 miles when I started and is an excellent cross country bike.

Mechanically it was flawless through the trip. I had a factory 36K service done with new tires before I left.

This is one of the most important considerations of the entire trip. A breakdown in the area of Bell 2 leaves you several hours from a tow and probably days to repair.

The Bike Accessories:

Garmin Zumo 550 GPS recently updated with all Alaska and Western Canada map data including services, hotels, etc.

XM radio. Though it didn’t work in Alaska or much of Canada, I got a decent signal south of Jasper, AB for the last 3 days.

Heated seats, grips, cruise control. Can’t imagine not having these.

The Weather:

Temps starting in Anchorage were in the 50’s. For nearly the entire trip into Boise, the weather was mostly cloudy and 48 to 60 degrees. There was light rain for about one third of the trip. Every once in a while moderate rain but nothing heavier. No strong winds ever to speak of.

The time of year:

I rode in mid September - late in the season. I wouldn’t begin this trip if the temperature was forecast to be less than 45 degrees during the day. The fall colors in the Yukon were often very beautiful and Alberta was pretty, too.

Traffic and road conditions and fuel:

Hardly any traffic to speak of. Between Tok and Prince George, the lightest traffic I had ever seen on good motorcycle roads. 

Overall everything is two lanes with excellent conditions. Up to Watson Lake, the road surface was smooth. Turning south on 37 near Watson Lake, the road became more narrow and a little rough but still nearly all paved. There was generally no shoulder - only a very steep drainage channel off the paved surface. I figured good for preventing an animal from charging out into the road, bad if I wandered off my intended line. In the end, there were no animal problems. And I stayed on the road.

As I traveled further south on 37 and 16 toward Prince George, the surface became steadily smoother. Center lines appeared and for a few days I rode on some of the best highway conditions I have ever seen. Just a few very short unpaved sections appeared due to construction. Overall it was many hours of fantastic motorcycle road.

My BMW has a 6 gallon tank with about a 330 mile highway range. When I saw 150 miles since my last fill up (~180 remaining) I’d search next station on my GPS and refill. Never a problem.

My USAA Credit Card worked fine for the whole trip. In order to refuel at the pump, a PIN is required with the card. I don’t have one (maybe a Canada thing?). I had to go into the cashier and leave my card or pre-pay. Then back in to finish the sale. Bottom line is - not as easy in Canada as our pay at the pump.

Clothing:

Bottoms: 

Thermal layer, hiking pants, rain shell. Waterproof boots with gaiters.

Tops:

Thermal layer plus up to 3 more layers plus a riding jacket and then a rain shell. Thin Buff neck warmer plus another fleece neck warmer. Good gloves sealed at the wrist under the rain shell. Helmet of course. I use an older HJC flip-up.

Other Considerations:

Bose Quietcomfort 20 noise cancelling ear buds for music and audio books. Essential. Like GPS, a must-have.

I understand motorcycle rentals are available out of Anchorage through Motoquest. That's all the info I have on them.

There's a good test of your motorcycle skill in the Whittier Tunnel Alaska. It's very narrow and you have to keep the bike between train rails for a few miles. Google it. If you can't control the machine well, don't attempt the roads in the Yukon.

Finally:

Overall, the ride through western Canada was one of the great a motorcycle trips I have ever taken. There are parts of Colorado as beautiful. There are road conditions just as good on the Blue Ridge Parkway in the eastern US. But for multiple days of stunning scenery, fantastic curving on quality roads and an endurance challenge, Alaska through Canada to the Idaho north border is one of a kind. A trip of a lifetime.

Here are the Photos

Flat Roof Recoat - Summer 2018

Video 1

Video 2:

Video 3:

Video 4:

Canyonlands Field

This information is accurate as of June 2017. Jumpseat agreements and parking policies are always changing so verify everything prior to any trip.

Canyonlands Field - CNY - is the closest airport to Arches National Park and Moab, UT.

Boutique Air flies a few passenger flights out of there each day and has jumpseat agreements with Southwest Airlines and other major carriers.

The airport terminal has free parking for up to 30 days in an unpaved lot adjacent to the building.

I've done several cross country motorcycle trips in the past and have left my two wheel machine at airports around the west. Other terminals around the country (like Portland) also allow free motorcycle parking. Usually the airport websites provide information on how and where to park.

I have a very good cover for the bike and have never had a problem with it being tampered with.

Cathedral of Seville

A Dirt and Rock Stair Climb to the Rooftop of Africa

Was climbing to the summit of Kilimanjaro difficult? Yes. But thousands do it each year, so it is a great goal for the average hiker of most any age.

It is not for someone who rarely gets on the trail. But it is for those of us who hike on a regular basis, with at least a few ventures above 12000 feet.

Here was my experience - beginning six days into the climb and on the eve of summit:

Dinner was served before our last big climb night around 5 pm. A few hours of restless sleep later, we rose, dressed warmly and prepared for the ultimate push to Kilimanjaro's summit. We would be awake, mostly walking, for the next 17 hours.

The journey out of our highest camp on that evening began under a halogen full moon at midnight and 15000 feet above sea level. For 6 hours and just 3 steep miles, it is a dirt and rock stair climb - slow at first, then very slow - to the top at just over 19,300 feet.

The peak of Kilimanjaro is known as Uhuru. On the morning we summited, it was 10 degrees above zero F with winds gusting to 50 mph. It was a spectacular daybreak on the top, and bitterly cold. A sunrise like I had never seen - prismed beams of dawn off the nearby Rebman glacier and a local peak capped by that white and yellow light.

Even with the harsh conditions, reaching the summit is both joyous and a relief. No one in our group wanted to fail. And no one did. 4 men. 4 women. Ages 22 to 54. From 3 different countries.

There are hugs, handshakes, and high-fives. The guides celebrate with you, and deserve to. These are the professors who just saw their students earn A's for the week. Their joy is as real as yours.

Pictures were taken as quickly as possible. My friend Steve Brown - a very experienced mountaineer - has reached the summit first. He has extra photos to take and wants to explore the summit area for much longer than the average Kili tourist like me. He'll pay for that later with a case of mild frostbite that has somehow made him proud and a little happier.  

So again, yes. It is a difficult thing, climbing Kili. There is wind and cold and hypoxia.  But it is not technical - that is, no ropes, axes, or specialized equipment or training are necessary. There are no ice walls, crevasses, ladders, cables, anchor points or the danger of avalanches. It's not Everest. No where near.

It is, simply, a brutally tough climb in thin air that can include cold and wind for many hours. And when the celebrating is over at the peak, a lot more work still remains.

The thin air above 19000 feet is perilous. We're encouraged to get down at a brisk pace. Not just to the level of the camp that we woke up in. But further - another 4000 feet below that.

11000 feet is considered safe from hypoxia's life-threats. It is 6-7 hours downhill walking from the peak. Though conservative, a break for sleeping is not allowed until the 11000 foot camp. Because, as our guide James puts it: "Sleep above, you may not wake up."

So walk downhill we did. First through a trail of soft volcanic dirtpowder scree that reminds you of fresh-snow skiing. Then through a variety of hard and slick dirt trails, smooth river rocks and combinations of all. Everyone fell at least once on the descent that day. But no one was injured.

By 3 pm we arrived at the safe elevation. Two of our fellow trekkers with step recording watches reported the numbers 37,000 and 41,000 over the previous 17 hours.

Summit day is only one of the 6-8 day adventure that is a Kilimanjaro trek. The various guide/outfitter websites (such as climbkili.com) provide a wealth of information on the other hiking days.

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Equipment Notes

A list of equipment items to bring is provided by each outfitter. You should start getting this stuff together around six months before the journey. Top priority goes to footwear. Boots or trail shoes, comfortable and well-broken-in are critical.

I used Merrell Moab Ventilator low risetrail shoes. Most people use a higher top for ankle protection, but I used what I have hiked in for the last few years- the same style Merrells- with no problem at all.

I also use Spenco green insoles (2 layers) over a custom made carbon orthotic arch-supporting insert. Again, what I have used for many months before Africa. No blisters or any other difficulties with the feet. It can't be overemphasized enough that (nodding to Steve Martin) your feet stay "happy."

Camp pads and sleeping on the ground: Wake up in the morning after tent camping and you can feel like you've been in a car wreck. I choose not to with a high performance camp pad made by Exped - the SynMat 7 that uses a very cool hand inflatable system.

Training/Conditioning

Kili requires good cardio conditioning. You are going to walk approximately 31 miles over a week. Half will be grueling uphill. The other half will hammer your knees downhill.

I had three solid treks to higher elevations on my very brief mountaineering resume:

Mt. Humphrey's Peak - Arizona - at 12000+ feet

Salkantay Pass - Peru- at 15000+ feet

Mt. Elbert - Colorado - at 14000+ feet

I hiked my local 1300 foot mountain (Camelback Phoenix) at least once a week in the months leading up to Kili. Then twice a week as I neared the departure date.

Realistically, if you can do at least one of the easier 14's in Colorado, you can probably do Kili.

More Gear Notes

A few considerations:

Trekking poles- Most people recommend using. Some swear by them. I didn't use them on the Kili trek. Never have.

An excellent framed backpack - Some in the group used very lightweight school-bag type daypacks. I preferred my own slightly larger internal framed backpack - the  Gregory Z40. In recent years I've realized (way too late) that the weight of the pack resting through the belt on the hipbones is the best way to trek. For those doubters, go to REI (or similar) and have them custom fit a lightweight pack that "floats" in balance over the shoulders and see how you like it.

Recharging system - mini solar panels, supplemental power packs - are great for keeping your phone going. Believe it or not there was some phone service all the way up Kili and I was able to use my Sprint free international roaming data plan a few times.

An unsmartphone camera - My old Nikon Coolpix that uses AA batteries - pretty good pictures, always reliable.

Nasal saline solution for the dry often dusty mountain air can make your sinuses more comfortable.

Medications

Didn't use Diamox. Didn't need it.

Yes to Ibuprofen. 1500 to 3000 mg a day for the minor (inevitable) altitude headaches.

Getting There

Fly into JRO airport via KLM Airlines from AMS. Or Qatar Airlines from DOH, or a few other airlines including Ethiopian.

"Mobile Passport" App for your phone. Got it for travel back to the states. Used it and loved it.

Photos:

Lower Camp - early in the trek

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The invaluable porters and our gear they carried

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Another low camp - a cool and rainy wakeup

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Day 2 - around 11000 feet

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Day 3 - Hiking in the Clouds

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Over half way to the summit - Above the timberline

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Uhuru Peak - finally making an appearance

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Summit Day 6 am

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The descent - just above the highest camp

***

Petra, Jordan - Notes

Notes on visiting Petra, Jordan:

A good, basic information source: www.wikitravel.org/en/petra

Fly into Amman, Jordan. My direct flight was from JFK on Royal Jordanian. That airline codeshares with AA and uses their gates - so mine was an easy transfer within the same terminal. Paid ticket was 800 USD one way from Phoenix.

Currency is Jordanian dollar. Locals will say 'geedee' (JD) when bargaining.

ATM at the airport will dispense JDs. I used my Navy Federal ATM card (Plus Network) no problem.

Cab ride about 20 JD to central Amman. Speaking of cabs, agree on a price before riding anywhere. Type it on your phone to be sure of the number. 2-5 JD for many rides in town.

I used Airbnb for a week stay in Amman. $55 USD per night for a decent house. Plenty of brand name upscale hotels around Jordan. Didn't price them.

Did the usual tourist stuff in Amman on either side of the Petra visit. All very worthwhile. Use www.wikitravel.org/en/Amman for more info.

Petra Info:

I rode the Jett Bus to Petra and back. www.jett.com.jo  20 JDs round trip. Very reasonable. Average comfortable big box tour bus. Left their company terminal in Amman at 0630. 3 hours to Petra with a 30 minute stop at a fine little restaurant/souvenir place on the way.

After arrival, had a quick lunch, hotel check-in and entered the Petra Site around 11 am. Walked the Siq, saw the Treasury, a few other fascinating structures then a strenuous walk to the Monastery. Enjoyed the views and walked back to the entrance. This took about 5 hours total.

I walked at a moderate pace with no real resting except to enjoy the sites and views from above the Monastery. If I had gone a little faster, I could have skipped a hotel that night and caught the 4 pm Jett Bus back to Amman. That would have been a long, exhausting day!

But I planned to stay the night in Petra and did that. 2 star hotel was adequate. Had to ask for a space heater, but they politely obliged. If I had wanted a shower in my private bath (which I didn't because the room was so cold!) I would have had to ask for soap and towels. No problem and never surprising in places like this.

With the bus travel and mostly 2-3 star accommodations Petra on your own is classic 'rough travel.' Not unclean or uncomfortable or unsafe - though your wife's standards may vary from my own. Most everything is not like a Crowne Plaza. Which there happens to be at the entrance gate to Petra. I never saw the rates.

Dinner was at a local friendly kebab joint and I was in bed with exhausted legs and plenty of blankets by 7 pm.

Next day up a 6. Breakfast at the hotel, then back at the site by 7. I spent 6 hours visiting more ruins and the museum. Lunch, relax time at a local coffee shop with free wifi, then I caught the Jett bus back to Amman.

I had never heard of the Nabataeans in school. Fascinating people. We are lucky some of what they built has survived along with the Roman, Byzantine and Islamic ruins. The bonus is that it exists in amazing sandstone rock formations similar to our own Zion National Park.

This is a must see site if you love places like Machu Picchu, the Coliseum and the Parthenon. Spouses (or kids) who can only handle a limited amount of walking and who quickly lose patience with 'the old' and big crowds should consider this trip carefully.

Buy a Jordan Pass before leaving the US. It is a bargain if you see Petra for 2 days.

Dealing with the locals selling items, horse rides and camel rides is an issue. Plenty of info on websites like tripadvisor so you don't need my opinion.

Guide or no guide? You will be offered guide services at every tourist sight. Be ready to answer. I find guides to be hit or miss. Mostly miss. But keep in mind, on a do-it-yourself scale, I'm a 9.5

For every place in Jordan, I found a good free map of the area. I had downloaded The Rough Guide Jordan to my IPad before the trip and read through the basic info as well as info on the specific sites I chose to visit. I also use the wikitravel/en website.

Once at the entrance to Petra, I bought a small guidebook. My rule of thumb is - it has to fit comfortably in my back pocket. That's usually enough to read for the day.

You can walk around Petra and each major site has a standing metal tourist info board in languages including English. Good basic info. I thumbed through my guidebook. I sometimes drifted into tour groups to listen in. Nobody seemed to notice or mind. I really enjoy the freedom of breaking away from the herd at any point I wanted.

Believe me - in a place like Petra, you can't seem to enjoy enough the quieter times when no one else is around. Getting there early morning on the second day was something special.

That said, a good, clear English speaking and entertaining guide can be golden.

Closing thoughts on Jordan:

Use Google Translate for three basic phrases. It is a very cool tool with pronunciation through headphones/speaker. Look up 'Hello' 'Thank you' and 'Goodbye' and write them down phonetically. Example: SHOO-krahn is thank you. Tape these to the back of your phone. Now you speak some Arabic.

Safe? Yes. The big hotels in Amman have security like an embassy. The embassies have security like a supermax. Police are everywhere in the tourist areas. Extremists are a relatively small issue - nothing like Iraq, Syria, etc. They are dealt with harshly in this kingdom - our Gitmo would probably be a Crowne Plaza in comparison to what Jordan's police have to offer.

The people and leadership are very friendly toward the west - check out any interview with His Majesty King Abdulah II.

Early December weather was perfect- clear, cool, 65 degrees (YMMV).

This is the off  tourist season. Plus world events are dampening travel. I hardly ever waited in a line.

Paragliding in Chamonix

Les Ailes du Mont Blanc is a paragliding / parapente school in Chamonix, France. It's located right in town below the Brevent Gondola and offers a five day basic course in gliding.

Three days of instruction are spent on the difficult part - inflating the glide and lauching in a stable position down a hill. Days four and five are the actual flights. They are both thrilling and beautiful - into the valley towns of Chamonix and Les Houches in the French Alps.

I have been parachuting many times and that probably hindered me catching on with inflating and controlling the glide. Skydiving parachutes are smaller and have steeper glide paths - at least my old rig does. Parapente glides are meant to be controlled much more gently than I was used to. Fortunately the school attaches a radio on your harness for a ground instructor to provide steering instructions. With his help, I manged to find the center of the target field with an (almost) standup landing.

Compared to the U.S. - and many other places, activities like this are fairly unregulated. The school told me that once I was comfortable under the glide, I could get a rig, buy a lift ticket on the local gondola and fly all day long if I wanted to.

It is a much quieter experience than skydiving. There is, of course, no freefall experience, but there is also no aircraft noise. And in the case of the valley below the Mont Blanc Massif near Chamonix, the scenery is some of the most spectacular in the world.

Some more info:

The Les Ailes School Facebook Page

The paraglide school required me to visit a local doctor to certify that I am fit to launch, fly and land the glide. I was not allowed to substitute a recent Class 1 FAA medical certificate and an ATP pilot's license. So I saw the Chamonix flying doc. It took about 30 minutes on the first evening and now I have this cool letter in French saying I am good for parapente and other flying sports for 2 years.

Nine days of liability insurance are required - in case you damage someone's property on landing. This cost me about $30 and was easily bought on-line with the school's assistance.

Happy 82nd, Dad

Happy Birthday to my Dad!!!

His family and friends probably already know this, but my father loves a good blonde joke. Here goes:

Ted Baze once walked into an Austin Texas drinking establishment. He spotted a blonde sitting at the bar and started a conversation: "Hey, do you want to hear the best blonde joke ever?" he said.

The girl looked at him and replied, "Well, ok. But first you need to know that because I am sitting down you can't tell how tall I am. I am 6 feet 2 inches and was the kickboxing champion at my police academy class."

She then pointed to her right and said: "Do you see this blonde next to me? She is a good friend, is 6 feet 4 and is the body-building champion of North America." Pointing again she continued: "And do you see this blonde to her right? She is 6 foot 6 and is the mixed martial arts champion of the world."

My dad looked straight ahead as she continued: "So today the three of us are celebrating our graduation from the University of Texas here in Austin. We were on full-ride hair-diversity scholarships and graduated with degrees in recovering-blonde studies. Top three in our class."

The bar suddenly seemed quieter as the woman finished with this: "Now, mister. Do you still want to tell us your little blonde joke?"

My dad replied: "Nah. I don't want to have to explain it three times."

Happy 82nd, Dad.

Prison Bureaucracy

For those of us seeing more evidence each day that the world is wobbling a little further off it's axis, I give you the Prison Rape Elimination Act Compliance form courtesy of the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections.

My wife travels for business very often. She provides sales support for a medical device company and was recently asked to visit a Pennsylvania Prison. Signing and returning this form was a condition for her to visit. It was required by Pennsylvania DOC.

That our penal system needs medical equipment should come as no surprise. We are a humane society and I see a great value in treating inmate-patients that will move outside the gates one day to reformed and better lives. If they need an exam requiring modern equipment, count me in support.

As for prison rape, I don't have much opinion on that subject except that it adds to the list of reasons why I stay on the law abiding side of society.

Think about the irony, though, of my wife signing a form and consenting to a background check that is supposed to prevent prison rape. Not a violation of her, but rather the prisoners she may be around.

If it makes the citizenry of Pennsylvania sleep more soundly at night knowing my wife will not rape anyone in prison, then please enjoy that more peaceful rest.

As for those of us in the south and west, we mostly have a different viewpoint on that issue.

Meanwhile another business deals with another nonsensical bureaucratic requirement. And our economy continues stuck in first gear.